


That One Time Deadpool Totally Disregarded the 5+1 Story Format

by LostinThisIndigoGalaxy



Series: Wade Wilson, Party Crasher, Fandom Hopper, Mercenary, Lover Boy, and all around Wise Wise Dude [1]
Category: DCU, Deadpool - All Media Types, Doom Patrol (Comics), Doom Patrol (TV), Marvel
Genre: Canon Disabled Character, Canon Gay Character, Canon Queer Character, Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rare Pairings, References to Depression, Wade Wilson Breaking the Fourth Wall, Wade Wilson Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-10-28 06:15:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20773883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostinThisIndigoGalaxy/pseuds/LostinThisIndigoGalaxy
Summary: Larry: *feigning indifference, while filled with terror* fiiiiine, I am only doing this for you, Danny. It would be rude to not at least sit down... but I am not going to like him.Later....Narrator: despite himself, Larry liked himWade: *winks at you with more confidence than he feels*





	1. Meet-Cute Patrol

**Author's Note:**

  * For [655321](https://archiveofourown.org/users/655321/gifts).

> Thanks to an ongoing awesome conversation with my fandom husband this little drabble series actually exists. 
> 
> I am so in love with this unlikely, cross universe pairing. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it as well. 
> 
> I write in shorter paragraphs to make it a bit more accessible to read. 
> 
> I am a mess, and this is my first time posting on Ao3 so I have no idea what I am doing. Ha!

Larry: *feigning indifference, while filled with terror* fiiiiine, I am only doing this for you, Danny. It would be rude to not at least sit down... but I am not going to like him.

Later....

Narrator: despite himself, Larry liked him

Wade: *winks at you with more confidence than he feels*

\--------

It was Danny that introduced Wade and Larry, in fact set them up in a surprise karaoke date. They could tell Larry loved karaoke even if he rarely participated. He just needed to loosen up a little.

Danny and Wade 'I kill bad shit, talk shit, and fuck shit up' Wilson had dated briefly a while back, and though their completely different personal outlooks, life missions, and even universes, had eventually tempered the romance, there was still a great deal of love between them. Wade had been one of their very dearest friends ever since.

Lately, Danny noticed Wade seemed more down than usual, even for standard issue depressed Deadpool drama. Danny threw a 12 day drag dance party with their Dannyzens, to try and shake him out of it, it didn't even make a dent. That's when he knew it was a real problem. Wade loved dance parties, over the top glamour, and a good trans inclusive drag show.

Danny was pretty sure they knew just the person to bring him out of this intense lonely mope...and they thought Wade would be good for him as well.

-Larry Trainor-

If they could just convince Larry to allow himself a chance at a little love and joy, maybe even intimacy, it could be perfect.

Danny knew how much entities needed connection.

So it was a match made on Danny the Street.

like they said, Perfect.

And it was in it's own faltering, tentative way, some kind of perfect.

\--------

Wade was able to read and relate to all of Larry's self loathing and neither dismissed it, nor encouraged it. He understood self loathing, he also understood how hard it could be to decide to live again after a life time of it. He wasn't worried, he had plenty of time.

So Wade kept showing up, not creepy showing up, get your mind out of the creep gutter, just being around, available. When your whole life and identity gets stolen from you, more than once even, you care about consent and autonomy.

-this shit is to broody and not a single alliterative dick joke. I swear mediocre writers and Ryan Reynolds are the death of all my nuance-

So no dammit, he wasn't being a creep. He was just being around doing his whole Wade Wilson thing. Because what's the worst that could happen?

Wade had a chance to talk to the negative spirit one Tuesday afternoon, who affirmed his gut feeling that Larry just needed time and patience for healing.

Wade was intimately aware of how painful healing could be.

\-------

Larry meanwhile externally just sighed, and pretended he wasn't thrilled and terrified in equal parts, his insides roiling with excitement and utter overwhelm.

Wade was soooo much bigger than life, how could someone like Wade, want half dead, broken him? Larry knows that he's so old fashioned... full of guilt and self hatred, not the modern image of easy fabulous pretty boys in rainbow fairy wings and glitter, Hammerhead told him inhabited 'The Googles'. He didn't even know what otters, Stonewall, disaster gays, or grindrr were...or anything else of the torrent of 'catch up queer history' she had laid on him in a seemingly unending torrent. He'd had to go lie down.

He didn't know himself or his own community, which was now apparently a thing that existed outside of secret neighborhood bars in the largest cities. He was, glad, floored actually. He'd cried great heaving sighs in his room when he'd found out. So many missed opportunities. But the fact remained that under these bandages was a pimento cheese eating old man completely out of alignment with the era he found himself in.

\--and that was only going to get worse as time continued to go on. Forever.-

So he'd thought in the beginning that he should tell Wade to go away, to save them both the pain. He knew Wade would have left if asked, but he just couldn't quite bring himself to do it. It had been so long since he has touched a man. So long since he had been held, loved.

He just couldn't.

So Wade just kept popping up, and every time he did, Larry breathed a sigh of relief. He showed up in the middle of battles, doing baby doll's hair, breaking all the furniture moshing to queercore in the living room with Hammerhead -Rita sighed  
and looked at Larry pointedly-, asking Rita's advice on how to deliver a really great hero turning point speech, chatting with the Negative spirit somehow.

...popping into Larry's dreams...

Wade. always.

"Look, my dreams Wade? Those are private"

"you're happier in your dreams Larry, braver"

"But my face, I just..."

Wade stabbed himself in the face just to prove a point, which was frankly a little over the top. But Deadpool was always a little...or a lot, over the top. Secretly Larry thought they balanced each other out perfectly.

\---------  
Wade got the fear when it came to having a mashed avacado for a face, but come on, Wade was right there with him in the zombie nightmare face, he would never care about that. He saw how beautiful Larry was *with* the scars. Besides, epidermis was over rated, Who needed it? Not them and he thought that was pretty fucking cool.

Wade never asked for anything...well to be exact Wade never asked for anything from Larry that he wasn't ready and able to give. Wade asked for exactly every single random thing from everyone else, he wasn't bad, he was just written this way. -the fans probably found it cathartic. Lucky ducky fucking me-...still from Larry he never made demands or even requests... he never stayed away for long either.

He developed a habit of leaving a katana at Doom Manor, letting himself get killed 14 times in a row so he had a more immediate reason to come back for it.

He knew it was silly, but every time Larry smiled at him, every time spark head glowed in encouragement, Wade knew he would die a thousand times more for them.

Even if Larry never learned how to love himself, Wade could love him enough for all three of them.


	2. Family Patrol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rita Farr was a woman of poise and standing. She was somebody, at least she was once, still she had standards, even in the emotional and social limbo she found herself in today.
> 
> Which was why she did not immediately warm up to Wade Wilson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This drabble is part of my Larry Trainor/Wade Wilson DoomPool verse. 
> 
> These are not really formal chapters as such, but connected concepts: Wade meeting the people in Larry's world. A world, Deadpool fits in amazingly well.

Rita Farr was a woman of poise and standing. She was somebody, at least she was once, still she had standards, even in the emotional and social limbo she found herself in today.

Which was why she did not immediately warm up to Wade Wilson, despite Larry's obvious affection for his new interdimensional beau. She loved Larry, he was her best friend, however a proper lady could only tolerate so many shenanigans. Wade Wilson was entirely shenanigans. It was simply to much.

So on first blush she actually possibly hated him. He was so loud and crude, his entire demeanor was unbecoming of a well bred lady's ears. Then there was the fact that he both knew things he shouldn't and simply could not help saying the annoyingly, terribly true thing. It was almost a compulsion. She already spent enough time looking in mirrors feeling sick to death with herself, she didn't need a human incarnation of forced self reflection. Rita Farr had been a woman hiding from her truth, in a world built to avoid the truth for decades. It rasped like sandpaper against her skin. So much truth.

So much...life.

However in her own way, Rita was just as much of a softie for a sad sack as anyone else on the team. Wade might have been hiding it under quips and that ridiculous costume, but Wade was in some ways, the saddest sack of them all. So she was intensely aware of the fact that little by little, she had been won over by his surprising kindnesses and completely unquenchable spirit.

And then there was Larry.

She remembered the day she knew everything was going to be different. She was watching Larry (that was not creepy. She was his *best friend*, she was allowed, she told herself a bit to stridently), she had known Larry for decades, so she, most of all, knew his face and heart, even obscured by 50 years of necessary bandages and twice that time, being forced to hide his most tender humanites.

She was watching Larry, watching Wade playing demolition derby with Cliff and Jane -I mean really-, then Larry smiled. Really smiled. Really really smiled.

She was not sure she had ever seen him genuinely smile

The things she was doing these days for the warmth of her family's love.

-it was so much warmer than the spotlight -

That was the day she knew she was going to have to get used to blood and mindless low brow chit chat, because this Wade Wilson wasn't going anywhere...and really? This house had been a mausoleum for long enough.

Maybe that wasn't so bad.


	3. Hot Mess Patrol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Larry accidentally introduces Deadpool to Cyborg before he had a game plan in place. 
> 
> Deadpool is Deadpool.

If Larry had been thinking more clearly he would *not* have planned Cyborg and Deadpool's introduction like this, maybe a bomb shelter, but lately all he could seem to think about was Wade Wilson, everything else felt blurry. So he hadn't remembered that today was Vic's day to run the team meeting, and the results were about to blow up in his face...basically just like every other day. Larry sighed a little hopelessly.

Wade and Larry had been in the living room, talking quietly when Cyborg marched in. Cyborg always marched purposefully everywhere...well maybe not really marching, but Larry could barely remember what it felt like, to even fake purpose. His purpose had always been to stay alive in a world that very much wanted him dead. That mostly meant faking a purpose he had never felt.

Maybe he was bitter -he was definitely bitter- but sometimes it seemed just a little to much dedication and self discipline to be entirely healthy...for either of them. Cyborg was so young compared to the rest of the Doom Family, it was a welcome but sometimes exhausting change, all that earnest fervor.

After 95 years of literal unending torment, anytime Larry felt an earnest fervor coming on, he went and had a lie down.

Upon registering, that Larry was leaning ever so hesitantly into Wade, Wade in his full, post mission, sexy leather assassin glory, Vic froze, incredulous, "Deathstroke!!, How did you get in here??" He yelled in strangled surprise, immediately powering up his arm cannon and bracing himself for battle.

Wade of course seemed utterly unbothered, he only gave a long, lanky, full body shrug and stage whispered to no one in particular "ooooh this is awkward isn't it? When someone thinks you're the character your concept was stolen from?", then raised his voice with purpose so cyborg could hear more clearly,  
"But come on, Deathstroke? that guy's a dickstroke!" He made a jerkoff motion to punctuate his point.

He didn't know exactly why such crude and audacious behavior was so appealing to him, but after a century of survival hiding, Larry found being dragged into the light surprisingly invigorating. Terrifying but invigorating.

Cyborg who wasn't used to Deadpool's unending river of dick jokes, and inexplicable commentary, looked to Larry for some sort of explanation "...Who is he talking to?" He asked slowly.

Larry knew that technically Wade's primary super power was healing and immortality, but sometimes he was sure terminal confusion was one of them as well. He wouldn't pretend to understand why or how Wade knew the things he knew or how he talked about their lives like they were both a story, and constantly observed. If he thought to hard about it, it got creepy.

For once in his long life, Larry wasn't over thinking it, Wade Wilson was a strong, passionate, effervescent, surprisingly kind, hot guy who wanted him. He was determined to do his best to trust that, and try his hardest to relax and enjoy it. While he didn't maybe understand the constant commentary, he thought that maybe he was beginning to understand the man behind the commentary.

Larry stepped in before things could get messy, well, messier, "No! It's, I don't know, he does that, but he isn't who you think he is...he's not Deathstroke, he's not...well not not harmless...But he's like us and he's my....my....", Larry flailed a little, wavering in how exactly to explain Wade Wilson to his most proper traditionally heroic teammate.

Wade, never one to leave anything unsaid, seemed to fold space and time, reappearing beside Larry, somehow both draped over him and giving him space to breathe, "boyfriend! Loverrrrrr! Unicorn cuddle cu-"

Larry wasn't sure how anyone so brutal and blunt, could also be so intuitive and tender but he was infinitely grateful. Maybe for Wade they were one and the same.

\- "Friend" Larry ended weakly...but with more strength than he felt. His feelings and thoughts were all over the place.

It was the first time, the first time he had ever claimed a man out loud. "Oh my God". He probably wouldn't die of this weird mix of terror, excitement, shame, and...victory? But it felt like a very near thing.

The negative spirit glowed in gentle reassurance as his heart hammered wildly in his chest. Larry rested his hand over that tender glow in silent thanks as he tried to kick his brain back into gear, before something disastrous could happen.

Wade didn't seem disappointed by his seeming demotion, which was a relief. Wade always seemed to understand Larry's trauma and fears, sometimes better than he understood himself...maybe most of the time.

So while Larry quietly fell apart, Wade happily extolled the virtues of "special sexy man friendship" to Vic, offering to get him his very own unicorn stuffie, and generally making a lot of oblique jokes that didn't seem to be aimed at or for anyone actually in the room.

Cyborg for his part had already realized that whatever this was, he wanted no part in it and slowly backed out of the room, mumbling something about tmi...whatever he meant by that, honestly Larry only understood about half of what anyone under 50 even said these days. He'd been hiding for to long.

With Vic finally gone, Wade spun around, relief visibly washing over him, "Finally! I thought he'd never leave. Heroes ugh! Can't live with em, can't get a movie deal without em!" -

Wade stopped himself abruptly and leaned into Larry ever so gently, knowing how vulnerable he was feeling. "Hey though, you two ok? I'm an asshole, but not a heartless bastard. Even if you tear it out, it just grows back, wanna try? it can be super cathartic" he asked as he casually reached for one of his blades

....he'd meant to say no, to slow Wade down before he decided a demonstration was in order but he was overcome instead..stalled out just looking at this beautiful man, so explicitly focused on helping him feel comfortable and safe -wade never did anything in half measures-, their fingers brushed, Larry's awareness was singularly focused on Wade's proximity and radiating sincerity.

He realized as he absorbed all these...feelings...positive feelings? He was allowed those...he was absolutely ok, more than ok, for the first time in a long time, he was tentatively good.

Maybe he could do this after all.


	4. Pick Me Up Patrol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Larry is struggling with holiday depression, while Wade does his best to be the support system Larry needs even if he can't quite ask yet.
> 
> Or 
> 
> Deadpool meets Mr.Nobody, will there be any fourth wall left? 
> 
> Or 
> 
> That one time, the author went way to far, all for the sake of a Firefly joke. 
> 
> Sorry Alan Tudyk. I am probably going to geek hell.

Larry remembered the time Wade met Mr. Nobody with such fondness, maybe even more than that. He didn't quite understand the whys of what happened, but it was still one of the most thoughtful things anyone had ever done for him. The most thoughtful actually. Hands down. It was fantastic. Confusing-Fantastic.

Larry chuckled ruefully, Confusing-Fantastic was probably Wade's middle name, maybe he should get clarification on some things but he was eternally to tired. It was fine, sometimes things just didn't make sense. He'd lived with that his whole life, a little more perpetually unexplainable now was just more of the same. 

But distracting man aside, it had been early November, the new more whimsical Halloween had just passed, Thanksgiving loomed like a secret, despicable, curse, on the horizon, causing Larry to be swathed in a depression so deep, so pervasive, he could barely move.

The holiday season was always hard for him. It was such a visceral reminder of all the things he had lost...and everything he'd been to afraid to let himself have. He could barely tolerate his very long, tortured existence during the holidays.

So it would be an understatement to say he was down....He was very very down, he was in the emotional gutter, wallowing in it.

Wade, who always seemed to sense his moods was suddenly every where. Every single time the team managed to drag him to some new apocalypse, there was Wade, in full Deadpool regalia, a brown bag full of sandwiches, and a completely inappropriate for the situation over the top sweetness.

One time he was wearing a full, pink, ruffled apron. An apron to an apocalypse! ridiculous.

It was also, absolutely one thousand percent exactly what Larry needed. While he liked to think he was getting better, a hundred years of homophobic abuse and gaslighting was conditioning that was impossible to undo in a day...or a year. So even now it was equally nearly impossible for Larry to ask for support...and affection? Kissing in public? Holding hands in front of people? God he wanted it, so badly, but he just wasn't there yet.

Soon hopefully.

So here was this wonderful, impossible, beautiful man, showing up, mid Super Villain victory speech -every time. Rita always said he had impeccable timing- to bring him sandwiches, in the fussiest, silliest, sweetest, most over the top Wade Wilson way possible.

It was incredible.

\------

That particular dreary day in November, they were going toe to toe, with Mr. Nobody.

That Guy. -sigh-

Mr. Nobody, who fancied himself in control of the entire universe, the narrator of everyone's story

What a tool.

That day, Mr. Nobody had been at the apex of his sinister speech, gesticulating wildly, his maniacal glow radiating so brightly, the team had to cover their eyes momentarily.

When the glare faded enough that they could see again, Wade had basically materialized in their field of vision. -He called it panel jumping- He was lounging in Mr. Nobody's fluffy white chair, one leg thrown over the arm, his upper body draped dramatically over the other arm, giving him a false sense of languidness. Wade was a lot of things but languid was never one of them.

"I know what you are thinking honey bunny," he said, with eyes only for Larry, "How can this Pansexual Icon be *my* man?" He hugged himself dreamily in punctuation.

Deadpool oozed over the arm of couch, landing in complete disagreement with any physical laws Larry was aware of, on his feet in a light effortless crouch, his fingers grazing the ground.

Which was the moment Larry noticed the battered, greasy paper bag held prominently, in Wade's other hand. It had a large heart drawn on the front with 'DP + NM' scrawled carefully inside the heart. "I brought you sandwiches, my bandaged baby, and cuteness, to embarrass you at work. It's a whole otp meme thing. It's the cutest" as he finished, he clasped his hands by his cheek with a playful excited innocence, looking for all the world like a fourteen year old who had just been given an entire litter of golden retriever puppies.

-Oh.My.God.-

Larry looked around at the rest of the team (and Mr. Nobody) who were all staring in open mouthed bewilderment.

-All these people knew-

Wade shifted gears abruptly, moving towards Larry in a display of acrobatic agility that was both intimidating...and probably showboating.

"I...what...sandwiches? The...I...I'm kind of doing a thing right now." Larry half whispered in embarrassment.

That sentence seemed to galvanize everyone else in the room with them. They were indeed doing a thing right now.

As Mr. Nobody opened his mouth to narrate this surprising interloper back out of the picture, Deadpool's head whipped around, for the first time acknowledging that anyone other than Larry was there.

His body language was casual and dangerous, as he held up his finger to shush the villain. "Noo not you. It won't work anyway. I'm my own narrator, Mr. I'm-a-leaf-on-the-wind", Wade said dismissively while miming stabbing himself in the chest.

Mr. Nobody looked stricken "no! You... - you do not talk about him! I-I'm not that guy any more" he ground out in strangled, embarrassed fury.

Mr. Nobody slid slowly to the ground, abruptly defeated, pulling a small plastic stegosaurus out of his pocket and clutching it to his chest a bit desperately. "It's the Networks fault, anyway" he said weakly, to no one in particular, at least no one Larry could see.

Wade watched for a moment, seeming satisfied that there truly was was no current threat, he wheeled around again, facing Larry fully.

"Babycakes!" He said for the benefit of the team, throwing his arms wide, as if to hug Larry. Just as Larry started a panicked "do I do public hugs?" mantra in his head, Wade relaxed, leaning in to brush a gentle kiss against the corner of Larry's mouth. The separation of bandages and flashy super mercenary mask seemed irrelevant in that instant.

Then it was over, leaving Larry a little bereft. "Look eat the damn sandwiches, they're your favorite" Wade stated simply, resting one hand gently over Larry's breastbone, the place the negative spirit pulsed happily, shoving the sandwiches at him unceremoniously.

Yeah, Wade always knew exactly what Larry needed. As time time seemed to stretch out around him, a moment of profound understanding swallowed Larry, Wade's fingers still warm and firm over his heart, so close, so intimate.

-Nothing platonic about that-

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see and feel his teammates, his family, watching them closely...and was surprised to find he did not actually, really care at all...maybe a little. But not enough to pull away or make excuses, not enough to risk ruining this nearly perfect moment.

For the first time, since the holiday season began, Larry felt the pervasive tightness in his chest loosen slightly. He felt...lighter.

-These people knew...and that was ok. it was right. family-

"I don't really know how you always know but...thank you. I..." Larry faltered again, internally damning a century of oppression and suppression that made it so hard for him to express...anything with the seeming ease Wade did.

Deadpool chucked him under the chin affectionately, "awww I lesbians you too, Darkwing Duck, but we should probably get out of here before he realizes it's villainy or the convention circuit" he said nodding his head toward the still incoherent Mr. Nobody.

"Uh yeah, ok....lesbians?" Larry asked, a mixture of warmly embarrassed, confused, and floating slightly, in a heady realization that had the negative spirit sparking giddily.

Wade paused as he pulled Larry forward, their fingers ever so briefly tangled, shrugging with mischievous glee, "different fandom" he giggled, winking.

"Wade", Larry whispered, coming to a full stop "no one has ever publicly, wanted to maybe, but never could, never would, ever proclaim me...so... -loudly-" Larry petered out, holding his arms wide, gesturing vaguely at the team and maybe the world. "I think...I..."

Larry wasn't sure if he could or should finish that sentence, but as always, Wade Wilson was unbothered and radiant.

"Hey, we have plenty of time," Wade said softly, "what else do a couple of lousy super undead fucks have but time?"

And Larry knew that Wade was right, they had plenty of time. For the first time that didn't feel like a curse.


End file.
